Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Do you ever wonder?

Where it comes from?

You know, that weird drive in your brain that tells you that you've gotta do stuff that you really don't want to do?

Do you ever ask yourself about the importance (or lack thereof) in daily tasks?

Do you ever want to quit life? (But not die, mind you)

Are these questions emo, or existential, or worse, are they positivist?

Why am I have a resurgence in interest in philosophy?

Do you have days where you can't derive pleasure from the usual activities?

Do you ever think you should be doing or thinking about something else?

Do you find shortcuts so you have less work to do, yet end up feeling bad about taking said shortcuts?

If you ever feel this way, I have advice! Not to worry!You may need medication. You know when you feel the weight of sadness. Your eyes are always looking at the ground, and tacos just don't taste right anymore. Look, there's a rain cloud over your head. Is there nothing you can do? Now you can! I'm not going to tell you though - I will leave you in dispair. The only thing you'll have to comfort you at night is the sound of your dog Sparkles the Unicorn panting and eating your shoes.

This preceding post was brought to you by The Coallition of the Willing Emotional Poets and Cyclists.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

From the Daily Hayseed

Opinion - 9/2/08

"George Lucas had consentual sex with my Childhood."

by Mark Sweeney

I can't find peace in a series of films that are so inherently flawed and whose creator shows such an utter disregard for his fanbase, humanity, and cinema. I hope Lucas burns in the deepest, darkest circle of hell and may God not have mercy on his soul.

Fuck Jar Jar, fuck CGI, fuck kid Anakin, fuck the romance between Padme and Anakin, fuck all the inconsistencies created by the PT, fuck the Emperor, fuck Ewoks, fuck musical numbers in Star Wars, fuck the "NO" at the end of ROTS, fuck how quickly Anakin's turn happens, fuck sloppy choreographed fight scenes, fuck Lucas' dialogue, fuck insane frog Yoda, fuck midichlorians, fuck all of AOTC, fuck Jango Fett, fuck the liberal propoganda in ROTS, fuck the "high ground", fuck illogical uses of the force, fuck the all the bad acting, fuck General Grievous, fuck dying of a broken heart, fuck the soulless video game battle between the droids and gungans in TPM, fuck "softer than sand", fuck Rick Olie, fuck battle droids, fuck Mace Windu (especially his stupid purple lightsaber and lines like "this party's over"), fuck Luca$$$ one-take fuckhead, fuck all the marketing that ruined my childhood, fuck "roger, roger", fuck Dooku using lightning, fuck Maul dying in the first movie, fuck the Podrace, fuck X-Wings not being in the PT, fuck being persecuted for not liking the PT, fuck Younglings, and most of all, fuck people who like the PT!