Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo!

1) Natalie Gulbis - I don't know who this is. I'm assuming/hoping she's some sort of hot chick. I mean, if she first...
Let's see.

Oh, I see. She's a golfer with an enormous rack. That kinda makes sense, but why is she first?
It's because she botched the cupcakes she was baking on NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice." Of course.

2) Olivia d'Abo
I believe this is because of her hotness as well, but I'm not looking it up.

3) AnnaSophia Robb
O.K. enough already with this stuff. This is the fifteen year-old girl from that Witch Mountain movie with the rock. I guess there are a lot of teen boys with crushes on her. I'll wait three years to comment on this one.

4) Marianne Faithfull
She's still alive??? Oh right, I heard she has a new album coming out. Anyone remember that song she did with Metallica? Did I like that song?

5) NCAA Brackets
There was a time, perhaps 15 years ago, whe filling these things out meant a lot to me. Actually, as it is selection Sunday, I'm a little surprised that this is fifth. I suppose we've gotta get the non-pornographic masterbatory material out of the way first.

6) BeBe Winans
Some sort of lame R&B/Gospel singer. No reason to comment further.

7) Cell Phone Deals
Funny story, CELL PHONES SUCK!
I'm really tired of fighting a stupid war over these little devices every single day while I teach.

8) Spring Break Travel
Who can afford this?

9) Car Stereo Systems
Just when I thought that I couldn't find a less interesting subject...

10) Business Software
I don't have a business. I don't like software. Yawn.