Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo!

Bijou Phillips
I'm starting to see a pattern here. Anyway, I have no idea why this particular actress is at the top of the list today, but I have a pretty good Damned idea that I'm not going to go through the effort to find out. And I wonder why no one reads this thing. Reading this blog is hazardous to your IQ. Seriously. Keep not reading it.
Lindsay Lohan
Speaking of "look me over here!", we come to Ms. Lohan. Do you guys remember when she was hot? There was a short period where we thought that Fez from "That 70's Show" was a lucky fellow. I'm guessing she's on here for drinking or/and driving and/or cocaine. It's certainly not for a new film role. Zing!
Madonna
Which one?
Printable Coupons
This makes a lot of sense. We all need coupons in a time like this. And we'd rather print them off the Internet. The Internet is all. The Internet is win. You will use the Internet more and more, until it is seamlessly integrated into every aspect of your life. That's when they get you.
Ron Silver
Is he a producer? I have no desire to look this up.
Healthy Snacks
Hmm? This is one of those really puzzling search results, not because it's hard to believe people verily enjoy Healthy Snacks, but because it happens to be in the top 10 on this particular day. Why are people concerned with healthy snacks today? Does it have to do with Spring? Maybe the economy? Is it somehow Obama's fault? I really have no tenable theory here.
Dora the Explorer Doll
Dora is cool. What is it about Dora which is so disarming? Makes me a little bit sad knowing I'm not having a Mexican baby. However, the chances that Paige will be an "explorer" in any conventional sense of the word is probably unlikely given her parents anxiety.
Don Imus
He has cancer. Obviously, your heart goes out to him since when people have cancer it really really sucks. True, he says inflammatory things, but cancer is so bad that the empathy for those that have it cross all human boundaries.
Debt Consolidation
Yes, a lot of people owe a lot of money right now. It's depressing, so I just don't think about it.
St. Patrick's Day
It's coming up. I guess it's a big deal in Elementary school. Sarah's telling me that I need to wear green, but I'm not particularly worried about it. The chances that one of my students will decide to pinch me is thankfully low, so there's no reason to worry about it. Also, I can't really drink, even though I'm Irish. There's no drinking while in this pregnancy window.