Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo! - Pithy one-sentence edition

Vanessa Minnillo
She's married to that Lachey guy, and kinda seems like a weird version of Tara Reid except not as gross.
Natasha Richardson
I hope she's alright.
Jennifer Grey
Frances. That's a real grown up name.
Coffee Coupons
Caffeine is my master.
Dancing With the Stars
My parents love this show.
Carson Daly
Douche bag.
Antivirus Software...
Everyone should obviously have this. Come on!
Protein Shakes
There's a joke here but I'll let you write it with your own mind. Isn't that groundbreaking? Or is it just lazy postmodernism?
DJ AM
He's like one of the characters on LOST or one of the people on Sully's plane.
Unemployment...
Get a job, you hippie!