Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo!

Jessica Alba
There's something about Alba that stops her from being as hot as she actually is at this point, if you understand what I mean (if you do, explain it to me). But on the other hand, she's also a terrible actress. So there's that. I remember when Dark Angel was on and I only knew her as "the girl with the lips designed for a very specific activity"
Alyssa Milano
It's really difficult to think of something interesting to say about someone like Milano. She's basically been a life-long TV fixture, and I can't decide how to evaluate that. Was she good on Charmed? Was it possible to be good on Charmed in any meaningful way? She is cute, though, this doesn't seem like much commentary given my own self-important blog and degree in English. I feel like I should be able to use imagery and metaphors to verily, and in great depth, describe ever nuance and shade of the Alyssa Milano Cute. But, no.
Courteney Cox
Let's just skip her, o.k.? She's boring. I have nothing to say.
NCAA Brackets
I remember when this would thrill Matt Lydon and me in our Freshman English class. We would spend all class looking at each others' brackets and critiquing them in ways we didn't even know could be applied to literature yet. Mrs. Clouse thought that they were an atrocious waste of time, and I thoroughly agree with here now.
Barack Obama
He filled out one of those brackets. And it became a national news story. The republicans I know truly believe that he is going to usher in the end times. I don't really see why people are so all-or-nothing with Obama. I think he's pretty good for a politician. I don't understand the hyperbole on either side.
Clive Owen
My wife loves this guy. I don't know that I've really seen him act. Perhaps I have, but nothing occurs to me at this moment. What is it with older British men that seems to attract the ladies? I guess their sophistication, or at least ostensible sophistication in relative to American men, makes them more attractive. Their teeth are getting better. And British ladies are the cat's meow. I love Kate Winslet. Swoon.
Paris Travel
Paris is a wonderful city. I'll never forget the first place that we ate at in Paris. It was a totally random cafe and it had about the best food I've ever tasted. And the wine was cheaper than soda. What a country! By the way, who has the money to travel to Paris right now anyway? Whoever they are, I bet they have a top hat and monocle.
Color Contacts
I honestly don't think that eye color matters that much. Really. You shouldn't be sticking plastic in your eyes unless your vision is flawed. If this is purely cosmetic, it's stupid. If not...o.k., but why do you want to change the color of your eyes? Especially if you are a girl. There's no way that a guy is really going to look you in the eyes or care about your eye color. Boobs.
Home Appliances
Next.
Affordable Housing
Times have changed...