Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo!

Padma Lakshmi
Now, I suppose I'm not supposed to think about such things and especially write about such things in my blog, but fuck that. It's obnoxious when you see an attractive woman, then you walk past her and a terrible plume of perfume smacks you in the face like a line drive from the bat of Jeff Francour. A momentarily good looking woman becomes a middle reliever at best.
Callie Thorne
I remember quite well one of the best parts of my honeymoon - leaving England out of a port by the cliffs of Dover and heading towards Calais. I felt like C.C. Sabathia when he got traded to the Brewers last year and took his team to the playoffs.
Lana Clarkson
The only thing that comes to my mind when I see the word Lana is that hot girl on Smallville - I think her name is Kristen Kruk. She's certainly more attractive than John Kruk and she's definitely a closer on the level of Brad Lidge.
IRS Refund Status
How depressing. We got nothing. Everyone went on and on about how much money we were going to get back because of the interest we're paying on our mortgage. Everyone acted like we would be able to sign free agents like the Yankees.
(I'm done with baseball analogies for the time being.)
Free Samples
I think that Pau Gasol is as close as you can get to being a supremely good player without actually cracking that ceiling. I'd dare say he's one of the top-ten most valuable players in the league. I forsee a Lakers/Cavs final, and that's going to be fun. I think the Cavs might have a better overall team, but if Gasol, Odom, Kobe, and Bynam all play like they can, I don't even think the Cavs' depth will save them. Naturally, this is coming from a highly-biased Lakers fan who believes that they are a much different team than they were last year when they rolled over against the Celts. But we'll see. I think the Jazz might take one in Utah from the Lakers. If they take onee at Staples, then we should worry.The Magic are overrated. Period. The Celts are without Garnett. It's hard to see anyone from the east taking down the Cavs.
Prepaid Cell Phones
Why not just have a normal cell phone? What's the deal with Prepaid cell phones? I dunno, what am I supposed to say about this?
Leftover Ham Recipes
Why this would be a popular search is beyond me. Is it because of Easter or something? Did an extraordinary amount of pig flesh get cooked this week and if so why??? I think it is searches like this that made me interested in using the top ten search items as a wellspring for deep, meaningful online comments. That's worked out.
Jackie Robinson
I love baseball. I know, it's slow, it's boring, blah, blah...but it's not! It's like the sports version of one of those "magic eye" pictures - if you stare at it long enough, you figure out what it is and you get a cool sensation of optical accomplishment. I think baseball works the same way, because the more that I watch it, the more I appreciate all that goes into it.
Ringtones
I just don't like cell phones. I never have. I don't know exactly why. It feels strangely unnatural to be in everyone's range at all times, but I guess that's a good thing, right?
Naltrexone
Whatever this is, I bet A-Rod and Roger Clemens never took it. Sorry, had to be said.
It does sound somewhat like a weight-loss drug though, so I guess I'll look it up and find out. Brb. Wow! It's an anti-alcoholic medication (I didn't even know they had that!) and it's been used to stop kleptomania! I LOVE YAHOO SEARCH!