Top Ten Most Searched Items on Yahoo!

Cheryl Burke
This sounds vaguely like the name of some 80's model/actress, but I'm not really sure at all who this is. So I am going to make it up. Burke was charged today with three counts of felony vandalism, which is highly ironic considering the "Cheryl Burke Foundation for the Preservation of White Spaces on Walls," a group founded, in large part, on the substantial financial success Burke experienced in the '80's with hit films like "Radical Tension" co-staring Denis Quaid and "The Deluxe Thunderbird" co-staring Burt Renyolds.
Courtney Thorne-Smith
Have I ever had a better list to work with? Courtney Thorne-Smith? Really? O.K. I suppose I have to look this one up because I'm going to feel like a dick if something bad happened to her (which is the only way she could end up at #2 on this list).

Here are the first two search results:

Courtney Thorne-Smith and Her Boys Take a Hike
Celebrity Baby Blog - ‎6 hours ago‎
Courtney Thorne-Smith goes unusually baby-free as she and her husband Roger Fishman go out for a morning hike with their pup on Saturday. ...
Lifetime rushes actresses for "Sorority" movie
Reuters - ‎Mar 22, 2009‎
By Nellie Andreeva LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Courtney Thorne-Smith is set to star in "Sorority Wars," a Lifetime original movie set in the ...

It must be the lifetime movie.

Nadya Suleman

I'm not a big fan. But as a future dad, I think I'm as morally guilty as anyone else for bringing another life into an already crowded world. That sounds almost as cliche as the gushy stuff I hear about children. There is no possible way for me to reconcile, in my mind, the concept of children and my expectation of fatherhood. It's mind-destroying madness, I tell you.
David Letterman

I wonder why I can't stay up late anymore. It's like all of the sudden my body decided that 11PM was my bedtime, regardless of circumstance or day of week. Perhaps this coincided with daylightsavingstime, but were that the case, it would still fail to account for the fact that I used to stay up until 1 or 2 AM. Sometimes my writing feels so wordy. I almost always feel that the thought I had in my brain could have been expressed much better in words by someone else.
U2 Tickets

See, this is why U2 is great. Not that their music is particularly awe-inspiring at this late stage in their career, but their presence in the world has been so prodigious and prolonged that their actual existence as a working band is now what creates awe.
Komodo Dragons

One thing I loved about the Final Fantasy series (at least 1-6) was the presence of Dragons. Now, those of you who are followers of the Chocobo, you know that in the FF universe, there are both traditional Dragons as we know them, with the wings, scales, fire-breath, and the like, but there are also a class of characters known as Dragoons, who were fierce warriors who usually had the ability to leap in the air for massive damage to their ground-bound foes. The most famous of these Dragoons, of course, was Kain from Final Fantasy IV (2 if you played it on the Super Nintendo) who betrayed his kinsmen, Cecil of Baron, after the latter threw down the evil gauntlet of Dark Knighthood and embraced the light of the Paladin. That was sexy.
Toxic Assets

It would be great if this was a more literal title. I would more seriously consider this subject if that were the case. But being as this is not the case, I shall not discuss it any further.
Cholesterol Levels

I hate stuff like this. Stuff connected to mortality, dying, getting old, etc. There's a great part in Heart of Darkness where the protagonist, Marlow, talks about how much he hates lying. And his reason is interesting; he says it reminds him of mortality. This ties in nicely with how he eventually views the world as pointless and absurd and becomes an existentialist.
Ringtones

I love it when one of my student's phones goes off in class and they're bumping something like T.I. or Lil' Wayne.
Used Cars
I wish our economy didn't suck. One thing that strikes me as interesting is that no one I know can adequately explain how things got to this point. It's mainly because most people don't really understand the economy (I know I don't) and thus we do not grasp the intricacies. So, I can be vaguely angry at AIG and shout something about housing prices and foreclosures while the government does something about this whole thing were in right now. Yeah.